The Ingredients to Successful Outbound Copy
Outbound is hard. No one wants to respond to, let alone read a message from a random BDR trying to sell them something they don’t need.
But you still need outbound to go upmarket and pursue the accounts you really want. You can’t wait for them to come to you. So you try, despite the challenge.
Most reps we talk to haven’t studied the mechanics and psychology of good outbound. They send company-centric messages that inevitably fall flat, then blame the channel: “LinkedIn doesn’t work” or “Email doesn’t work.”
The truth is simpler: the message isn’t landing. You need to unblock that part of the equation first.
A good outbound message has these components:
1. An Observation
Start by showing that you noticed something specific and did your homework. You’re reaching out because of something happening in their world, not because they were just on a list.
Examples:
- Saw your post asking for help center recommendations
- Noticed you just joined Acme after the recent Series B raise
- Spoke to Ashley and she mentioned you’re three weeks behind your SOC 2 rollout
- Guessing you might be using or evaluating ZoomInfo
2. Their Priorities and Blockers
Logically connect the observation to a top priority—and the blocker getting in the way of that priority. People don’t buy without pain, so you need to get here quickly and make a thoughtful guess.
Examples:
- Guessing you’re overwhelmed by options from the big vendors, none of which truly incorporate AI. Looks like your board is pushing for AI-driven transformation based on your 10-K.
- You’re probably under pressure to generate pipeline after the new funding, but headcount isn’t keeping up.
- If you’re like other CTOs I speak with, a flood of “unforeseen” SOC 2 controls requiring manual configuration popped up at the last minute.
- Since you sell to SMBs, you’re likely seeing that ZoomInfo only has contact data for ~30% of your buyers which makes mapping your TAM painful.
Notice how the observation is used to make an educated guess about what might be happening internally. The closer you get to the real problem and the more you describe it in their language, the more effective the outreach.
Because you are guessing, it’s smart to soften it with a line like “Let me know if I’m totally off base here.”
Watch out for this mistake
I see reps try to follow this advice but then their observation has nothing to do with the priorities and blockers. Eg: “Saw you hired 4 SDRs. A lot of BD leads I’m talking to are telling me they’re running into email deliverability issues.” → The observation doesn’t logically lead to the guess. ❌ This is bad
3. How You Uniquely Help (With Social Proof)
At this point, you’ve observed something about their world and guessed at a painful priority and blocker.
Now you can introduce what you do. Remember: they’re being pitched by dozens of vendors. You need to sound meaningfully different.
You also need to earn trust. One of the best ways to do that is by using social proof from a company similar to them, one they recognize.
Examples:
- Pylon is an AI-native help center that resolves ~90% of support tickets automatically. Hex migrated from Zendesk in 60 days and cut two support headcount.
- Clay uses Letterdrop to identify warm leads from online conversations, Salesforce, and Gong calls helping them book 35% more enterprise pipeline last quarter.
- CapGo used Delve’s AI agents to eliminate 90% of manual engineering work and complete SOC 2 Type II in 14 days.
- Orbital pulls data from Google Maps and public filings to reach ~90% contact coverage for SMB buyers who aren’t on LinkedIn.
The goal is simple: clearly state the outcome you deliver, why you’re uniquely able to deliver it, and show that a similar company trusted you to solve this exact problem.
4. Give Them a Reason to Meet
Most reps ask for a demo or discovery call. This is a mistake. No one wants to carve out 30 minutes to answer BANT questions for a stranger or sit through a demo they didn’t ask for.
You’re the one reaching out. Give them a reason to say yes by promising value. They should learn something useful even if they never buy your product.
A helpful formula is:
“Would it help to look at X, so you can decide Y?”
Examples:
- Would it help to review which CS tasks can be fully automated with AI today versus what still needs humans?
- Worth walking through a live sample of warm leads you might be missing?
- Happy to show how teams are automating the open SOC 2 tasks currently sitting with engineering, if that’s useful.
- Want to sanity-check this with a small HVAC contact data sample?
Putting It All Together
Once the components are in place, focus on readability. Shorter is better. Use AI if it helps you remove unnecessary words.
Examples:
Saw your post asking for help center recs - guessing the big names all sound the same and none really deliver on AI your board wants. Pylon’s an AI-native help center. Hex moved from Zendesk in 60 days and cut 2 support reps. Happy to quickly run through what CS teams can actually automate with AI today vs what still needs humans.
Noticed you just joined Acme after the Series B. Guessing pipeline pressure is real and headcount isn’t keeping up.
Heard from Ashley you’re a few weeks behind on SOC 2, usually when the “surprise” controls start piling up. CapGo used Delve to cut 90% of the manual eng work and got SOC 2 Type II in 14 days. If helpful, I can walk you through how teams are automating the open tasks sitting with eng right now.
Guessing you’re using or looking at ZoomInfo. Most SMB teams I talk to see <30% contact coverage. Orbital pulls data from Google Maps and public filings to get ~90% coverage for SMB buyers not on LinkedIn. Want to sanity-check it with a quick HVAC data sample?
Personalization and Making a Human Connection
This is optional but powerful if genuine. If you notice something real that allows for a human connection, add it as a PS. Don’t force it with lazy or automated personalization.
Examples:
- PS. Your post yesterday was hilarious- Curb is my favorite show too.
- PS. Saw you’re in Chicago. My brother went to Northwestern, so I’m there often.
- PS. You bike too? I just finished my first long ride in the PNW.
- PS. Met your boss, Joe, at Dreamforce in September.
Checklist
When writing a message, ask yourself: